MORE POINTS FOR PARENTS
Yesterday we discussed some principles to help us guide our children through the maze of destructive influences during their growing-up years.
We parents provide the anchor for our kids in a very stormy environment. Sometimes we get the impression that our lives and example make very little difference to them, especially during their teenage years when they seem to think that we have no clue about how life works. Even though they may be rebellious and unco-operative, we must never think that they do not watch us or that our example means nothing to them. They need our stability and consistency to steady them.
Children use their parents as a punch bag for their own emotional pain and frustration. Where we think they are against us, in fact they are using us to take out their frustration about other things. We can become less reactive and more responsive to their needs when we recognise that they have the problem, not us.
Principle 8 – always be a safe place for your children to vent their emotions without retaliating in anger or punishing them for their immaturity. Even if they vent their anger on you, give them an opportunity to talk without becoming emotional and then pick up the pieces.
Principle 9 – teach your children to show their love for you by honouring the values you hold as important. You should reciprocate by honouring them and helping them to value what helps them to live the best life and value them for who they are rather than what they can do.
Principle 10 – ever express or reveal shock, no matter what they tell you, even if it is unacceptable behaviour they have been involved in, otherwise they will not confide in you again.
Principle 11 – separate behaviour from the child and deal with the behaviour not the child’s character or self-image. Present a positive alternative, not threats of punishment for wrong behaviour.
Principle 12 – help them to interpret current trends, ie, music, toys, clothing, movie stars, icons of fashion etc, in the long term. Kids are out for instant gratification. You need to help them to evaluate what the influences of these things are on them. Help them to work with the Holy Spirit.
Principle 13 – your greatest responsibility is to develop in them an awareness of a loving Father who wants the very best for them. God is not an intrusion into their lives but the very breath that they breathe, there to protect them from evil and fill their lives with real joy which only comes from living within the boundaries He has set for us so that we can be really free.
Have you read my new book, Learning to be a Son – The Way to the Father’s Heart (copyright 2015, Partridge Publishing)? You’ll love it!